Failed to show up on Delta flight 513 to MSP to help me drink all this whiskey…
Dennis, I never “screw up”. Thanks.
-The most interesting man in the world
I had a really great quesadilla at work tonight and I’m pretty sure that mofo Dennis had something to do with it.
Made a website. You’d think you worked for a company that hosted things like that, or something.
God damn it, Dennis! How could you have let Brasil lose to Germany yesterday? Now my Copa do Mundo dreams are ruined and it is all your fault. Thanks a lot!
I have fear of footsteps during showers bc of cold water being tossed on me in the past.
I still have to work for 57 more minutes!
You had a get together at your apartment and of course got all of us drunk off of your delicious shots…using your chess shot glasses of course. Then proceeded to have us all play that game that’s like Simon but instead of hearing a buzz when we missed the light we were shocked instead. After playing a few rounds, the zap of the shock was too much so we just continued to drink instead. Eventually a fellow neighbor, who was also at this lovely event, proceeded to fall into the bathtub completely obliterated while your’s truly decided to go for a walk and ended up crying behind a bush haha!!!! #Only happens with Dennis!
One time Dennis stole my girlfriend. I asked him not to, but he did it anyway. Turns out she was a dude.
Broke a switch
Fucked up my chances of hooking up with Epic sororities girls in college by passing on their toes and breaking them! I blame Dennis!
let the dogs out
You ate all of the prosciutto and melon tray in Palermo. 🙂 (had to make something up just to try this out)