my burger was rare when I asked for medium rare. the cocktail didn’t have enough alcohol and tasted like a fruit salad. and if you weren’t too busy on your phone you would have supplied ample service to my modifications where I asked for burger no burger. there’s too many cougars here and it’s a sausage fest. and would it kill anyone to get some fog hat played around here?
Hates Zombie Jesus.
This is what happened. You missed the hangout, so Joe felt like he had to have a red bull to make up for your missing presence.
Then, Joe began to combust. Too much smartie-flavored energy drink caused his brain to explode. Project ideas erupted left and right, but he never finished one idea before another one sped out of his brain.
Even Spittle got a half-formed ping.
The flurry of excitement without clearly defined explanation led to another Phoenix re-org, and we have to all find different Harry Potter characters to identify with.
What did I do?: Ha, you didn’t actually offend me in any way. I just wanted to say thanks for the empathy. My parents are from Taiwan too, and I grew up in San Diego. In your I’m Asian Cracked article, you might have also mentioned that Asian people aren’t free from their own racism. My mom was made in China and lived in China for a total of 3 days before being hustled over to Taiwan. She spent the next couple of decades living in Taiwan and remembering absolutely nothing about her 3 days in China when she was .01 years old. Taiwanese kids in her school called her a Foreigner from China who should go back to her country at least as many times as I’ve personally been asked “where are you REALLY from?” in the US. Which is a LOT. Since I’m female, I get it from super racist old white ladies and really clueless white guys who mistakenly think they’re being tolerant and charming but are really raging douchenozzles. Anyway, thanks for writing! It’s nice to see Asian people have a voice and not fear using it. See my obviously not Asian or female alias? Yeah, that’s how much bravery I have. But you – YOU! – you even posted pictures. I like you. Thanks.
This isn’t actually a complaint. I read your Cracked article and wanted to reach out and tell you I can relate.
I’m 21 now, but when I was 14 my mother had a seizure and it turned out she had a brain tumour. It was a long road to recover, and I can so awfully relate to that moment when you saw your dad trembling with a spoon in his hand.
My mother is fine now, but I too wish for a timeline where this never happened. She does seem okay, but we’ll never really know what long term effects it had on her brain. I wish it had just never happened.
Ultimately I just wanted to thank you for writing an article I found so relatable. I hope most of the people who read it never truly realise how accurate it is.
Poured us a shot and made my friend puke. You were kind of a jerk about it. Wipe that smile off your face, Dennis.
Denny’s was out of strawberry milkshakes. Clearly it was your fault.
You finished your last drink really slowly.
Three words: blue mystery drink. #blamedennis
What did I do?: I get hangovers now! Guess I jinxed myself because I was proud that I never got them before…but I blame Dennis.
dude you did nothing wrong man I just want to thank you for that awesome article “•
•5 Ways Your Brain Tricks You into Sticking With Bad Habits
its was so funny and gave me some things to think about I feel its important for someone to be able to see something that they really want to change from different points of view that they can relate to and if this article is any indication of that I know I will get so much from your blogs and advise you know have 1 more fan thanks a bunch bro
Olark wasn’t working for me this morning. It was clearly your fault.
I probably won’t see the Purge tonight. Your fault.
Dammit Dennis, it’s hot outside.
I forgot to renew my domain name, and you didn’t remind me. My site was down for 5 minutes. My life is over. #blamedennis
The waves at the beach — by the Tulum ruins (Mexico) — blindsided me, and stole my Warby Parker glasses. For reals. It’s tough without them.
I was going to go to work but Dennis made me go to the World Series of poker
I wasn’t going to sleep over but Dennis got me drunk
My cats won’t stop fighting this afternoon. I’m not certain why, but I have to assume this is your fault.